Mo Farah recently won his 5th World Championship gold medal. Commentators described him as the greatest British sportsman of all time. This is his story.

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A posh English immigration officer named Arlington, having travelled to Africa on holiday, sees a young boy running out ahead of their Jeep.

(posh English immigration officer): “I do say! Driver, pick up your speed. See you if you can run that boy down.”

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30 minutes later.

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(posh English immigration officer): “Driver! Yell at him to stop running or I will shoot him.”

The driver yells a warning. The boy stops.

(posh English immigration officer): “Let me have a look at you! Ah yes, a fine specimen. How would you like to become British?”

The young boy looks at the driver quizzically.

(posh English immigration officer): “It’s settled then! You shall represent Her Majesty to show the world the inherent sporting excellence of the greatest nation on Earth – Great Britain!”

The posh English immigration officer goes to grab the young boy but the boy begins to run.

(posh English immigration officer): “Stop! Driver! Stop that boy. He is to be England’s greatest athlete!”

The driver goes to chase the boy as the boy runs into a nearby outhouse toilet. A shot rings out. The boy screams. The driver and the posh English immigration officer run to the flimsy structure where the boy hid only to find that both of his legs are shot through just below the knees.

(posh English immigration officer): “Oh for Christ’s sake! I’ve meant only to scare him! Driver! You saw that it was an accident, did you not?!”

The driver picks up the boy and they rush him to a hospital in Johannesburg. The boy undergoes a double-amputation. He would eventually become known as, “Bladerunner”.

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Upon returning from his safari, Arlington goes back to the immigration office and settles back in to his daily routine. As luck would have it, a young boy named Mo Farah would emigrate from Africa passing through his doors only a week later. Arlington, so distraught in his belief that he’d destroyed what was to be his greatest contribution to the British Empire, overlooks the boy that would become England’s greatest sportsman.